Someone once told me, when I am angry I cry and get mad and yell and try to hurt everyone else and make them feel as bad as I feel, because I want to hurt them as much as I was hurt in my past. When I'm sad I cry and cry and do not feel well and pretty much the same when I'm angry I say things very mean because I want people to feel hurt like the way I feel.
When I asked why is that: this is what I have learned from this person: when I was little I had a hard life my mom was a druggy and my dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and they were divorced, they were never there for me and still are not, they always said cruel harsh things to me and they never supported me, not even today.
I have been molested when I was young by my mother's husband and my nephew, I have done things and had things done to me in which I regret very much. I have hurt people I truly love and care for and I am not able to get close to anyone without one of us getting hurt.
I am sure you all get angry one way or another, anger is a normal feelings of hurt and frustration, because you feel nothing, you feel that you can not do anything about it, feeling stuck? Almost like something is choking you? If so, you're not alone.
Many Psychologists explains that anger is simply a feeling that has been hurt, and it is possible to heal that negative feeling with simple relaxation techniques, followed with hypnotic suggestions to control that unconscious trigger and activates that uncontrollable urge to retaliate — often this suggestions are given to disconnect this shocking wires from retaliating, which in this case, it is a very cement technique for "anger management", and it is very much affective when it is done hypnotically.
What is anger? We said it is feeling as a result of being hurt … to be angry means, feeling guilty and ashamed, worthless and rejected.
So how can hypnosis heal these negative feelings of anger?
Well, this is the easy part, the hypnotist usually builds a rapport; relax the client, then uses guided imagery to bring back those negative feelings, then those feeling being healed with other positive suggestions and triggers, or anchors. I can anchor the negative feeling to something suitable to the client, since each and individual understands it differently and there for they will disagree with it differently.
For example: The client will be asked to concentrate on the first time that they started to feel angry, then the hypnotist will give them a replacement word that is positive to this feeling:
Each and every time you have that instant feeling of anger, take a deep breath and think of the word "I am calm" in your mind. Or If you find yourself in a situation that is upsetting you, immediately be aware of it and take a deep breath, feeling calm, thinking calm, or visualize or imagine a blackboard, and the word "I am calm" is flashing in front of you, you can see it now in the color that is blue, serene, and if a particular person is making you mad, visualize or imagine this person is wearing a T-Shirt with the words "I am calm", all over their shirt , skin, face, its all over and as you see it is turning blue and you feel so calm, because you are in control now ….
Now pay attention: Think of that person that use to make you feel bad, now in your own mind, see it and feel that you are calm and relaxed. Now that you are relaxed, you can talk about your feelings and understand the "deepest foundation to the feeling hurt" that is the friend who is related to dishonesty and it is the best friend to your hurt, the enemy behind the feelings of anger.
Here is an exercise:
Step One: Ask yourself: why do I feel angry? How does it make me really feel? Why does it upset me so much? What is so powerful them me?
Step Two: How deep does it really hurt, and describe it: is it like a sharp pain, sharp knife, feels like a boiling blood, stubbing knife, tight muscles? Why does it feel so strong?
When you done that: you are ready to access the center of the pain … that is when you can understand it, so you can make a decision that nothing is so important then what really makes you feel good, and that can be a laugh, a calmness, good food, good music, being around a friend, I am sure you can find something that you can relate to, so you can think positive … then concentrate on all the good things you have done and accomplished so far, the last compliment you received, the love you have with your pet, your art, your lover, your partner if you have one, your family or children … look into the values and the morals of that feelings.
Third step: is to "access your core value": Review those things that make your life worth living, like good things you've done, the last compliment you received, the last gift you received that maid you feel wow, the loving relationships you have, the things and goals you have accomplished so far ….
Then when you realize all that, you cam move to the next level:
Fourth Step: Knowing yourself and "loving yourself", you can start with positive affirmation about yourself; say it like you are saying it loud to a good friend, student, a child, a pet.
You can change all the negative messages you got from people who you expected love from, but they failed to deliver: Like if someone said you are "Stupid", you can change it by saying, I am smart, I am intelligent, "it's not true that I am stupid "or It's not true that I am ugly, actually I feel attractive and everyone around me can notice that, I am kind, I am loving, I am patient …
Once you start believe in your new affirmations, you find a way to solve any problems you may face, as long as you can connect with your inner feelings underneath the anger. You must remember, that anger is a normal feeling and it is absolutely a healthy emotion, that you must be careful, as to giving it much power .. There for it is your duty to approach your feelings benefit the anger and work through them.
There are many ways, you can approach it: for example you may want to write down what you are feeling when you are angry, then write down why is it happening to you, and allow it to be your own opinion, your own voice, then give your own few ideas or suggestions as how do you think you should handle it, of course thinking calm, and allow your inner child, that other voice to come up with an solution, a plan to win this battle, I promise you, if you practice what I have suggested here, you will become an expert at managing your anger.
I always say fake it until you make it, yes, it is all about repetitions, over and over again, coaching yourself over the voyage of one to two months, and that will reinforce the new suggestions and will reinstall a new condition pattern to your new core value.
So as soon as the feeling of anger arises, you think about "Calmness" "I am calm," Blue light "or anything that you can think of that can bring positive feelings, like your pet, your love, your children … remember, practice makes it perfect, so make sure it until you make it. in the most natural ways possible. You can contact me for your free consultation … local or long distance.