The Resurfacing Man Syndrome


If you have one of these men in your life, men that disappear only to show back up, it can be frustrating. He is full speed ahead one day, then it may be days or even weeks or longer before you hear from him again. A man that comes and goes. Do you often wonder why he disappeared if he is just going to come back?

These men are more times than not just keeping you on warm on the back burner. It’s not that they don’t like you, they do. They just don’t like you enough. Often times when a man treats you this way, he may very well have a woman he is attached to that keeps him on the back burner. When she disappears on him, he seeks you out.

If it’s not another woman, he may have commitment issues. He can’t commit to being with you, nor can he commit to being without you. Commitment issues are one of the reasons why men disappear. Not being able to commit either way is a sure sign. These men are famous for resurfacing.

If you are in love with a resurfacing or disappearing man, I feel for you. It’s an emotional roller coaster ride for sure. You are elated when he is around, but have a nagging fear because you begin to expect his disappearing act. It’s hard to feel safe unless he is actually with you. It’s the time that he isn’t with you that drives you crazy.

You probably analyze it over and over in your head and think about how you could change this. How could you get him to stay and commit. You tell yourself he must care because he keeps resurfacing. I am sure he does care, but as I said, just not enough to stay. A man has to feel a deep attraction on an emotional level to stay.

If the sex is great, that may be the only thing holding him to you. Sex does not equal love though, sorry. Sex will not keep a man from disappearing. If you keep giving him sex, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. Good enough for sex but not good enough for girlfriend is not really where you want to be.

The resurfacing man rarely changes and he will continue in this crazy game as long as you are available to him. The main reason a man resurfaces in and out of your life is because you allow him to. In the meantime, his options are open. Men that disappear always have their options still open, you can bet on that.

Robin Cockrell