We’ve all heard it — time heals everything — nothing is further from the truth. Don’t believe me — read on.
First of all — time can’t heal anything — it’s time not a healing process, medical professional or medication. I know you probably think I’m starting off on the side of ridiculous. Well, just trying to get your attention.
If time can heal I wish it would heal faster — my recent hip surgery, heart bypass surgery, several years of business uncertainty, some of the negativity of a former spouse (hope she’s not reading this) and any number of life areas that continue to get in the way of some of my exciting opportunities.
OK, not complaining here so let me ask you — are you still waiting for time to heal some area of your life that you feel is taking too long?
Healing — literally meaning to make whole — is the process of the restoration of health from an unbalanced, diseased or damaged organism. It is also referred to in the context of the grieving process. In psychiatry and psychology, healing is the process by which neuroses and psychoses are resolved to the degree that the client is able to lead a normal or fulfilling existence without being overwhelmed by psychopathological phenomena.
So, let me ask you — when most people say time heals all things in due time are they referring to the above stuff or something else? I’ll bet — something else.
Time doesn’t heal a wound whether physical or mental — but what we do about what has happened during the passage of time is what heals it or does not heal it. So, if you are grieving about anything it’s not the time involved but what you do or how you handle the events, circumstances or situations during the passage of time. And why — well, for starters let me ask you — do some people heal faster or slower to the same loss than others? Do some people never heal from certain losses? The answer to both is — yes. So, again it’s not the time but what you do or don’t do during the time. I know, I know, I’m being redundant but some people need to hear or read stuff (not you of course) more than once to «get it».
So, what gets in the way of faster healing for some people? Here are just a few reasons; the need for control, fear, impatience, future uncertainty, a victim mentality, poor self-esteem, cluttered mental perceptual filters, life imbalance and a lack of being in life reality. All of these require more explanation but I’m trying to keep this article under 1000 words — so if you are someone who fails to heal well or quickly you might want to do some more reading. I can give you lots of resources.
The source of healing in a person is a combination of them using their mind/thoughts and their spirit/soul to address, manage or overcome the challenges, issues, losses etc. that life brings sooner or later to each of us. Both are required in some way to handle both physical and emotional healing issues and or life trials. It has been my experience over the years that people who I have known who can’t control their thoughts and have weak spiritual values tend not to heal well or in a timely fashion.
What can contribute to a more effective healing process is any combination of the following actions, behaviors, approaches or attitudes.
-Show appreciation more often for everything in life even if you don’t think it or them deserve it.
-Pray, meditate and spend routine time in silence.
-Live life with greater gratitude. When you lose something — focus on what you still have rather than what you have lost.
-Strengthen your spiritual life — in ways that help you understand and accept life’s trials, disappointments and losses.
-Read appropriate Scripture.
-Develop a support system that builds you up and doesn’t just cry with you and keep you stuck in your loss or issues.
-Learn to accept that all of life’s challenges whether you agree with me or not, are opportunities for personal, career or life growth.
I could go on for pages with suggestions but I’ll leave you with just one more — Life is not picking on you when it drops a bomb into your life — it is not singling you out because you need to «get it» now — no — life happens to all of us and the key to happiness, inner peace and a life of joy is not what we are dealing with — perceived as good or bad — but what it teaches, us, how it molds us and how it helps us live a better life for those around us.